one day at a time . . .

Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category

Just Reminiscing

I thought I’d look back at past posts pre transplant. I’m amazed at how soon I forgot how sick I really was. I mean I realize I was at end stage lung disease, but the details of the med reactions, the level of breathing difficulty, the emotions I went through. Here I am, almost one year post transplant… I can breath… I don’t cough anymore… I have more control over my life… it’s just amazing.

I wish I could go and talk to myself pre transplant and tell myself that its going to be ok… you will breath like a normal person… you need the transplant or your life WILL end.

I’m still worried about rejection. I understand that barring any other complications, rejection will take my life. But look, I just had almost a year of life that I wouldn’t have had. Every day is a gift and more time with my family. I made it to the first statistic – 90% live to the first year.  Now for the next statistic – 50% live to 5 years. If you think of it that way, it’s pretty scary. I have to work on not thinking of myself as a statistic. I have transplanted friends   that have lived over 10 years, and the stats were worse at the time of their transplant.

I’m enjoying life… I have an 18 year old that drives  me crazy. And it’s all good.

My donor, Bernadette, saved my life and I am forever grateful.